He's my first proper boyfriend, and he's fantastic - witty, sweet, a gentleman...he's perfect, it's what first love should be. And the best thing about it is that he loves me too, despite my weight, my curves, my stretchmarks, my lumps, my bumps, my breasts, my dimples, my cellulite, my folds....
But that doesn't mean I want him to see them.
I'm so physically attracted to him too, he creates a passion in me that I have never felt for another. I just want to grab him when I see him, I want to kiss him roughly and run my hands over his body.
But of course, for this to happen, he would have to touch my body aswell, and he would feel weight, my curves, my stretchmarks, my lumps, my bumps, my breasts, my dimples, my cellulite, my folds...and that's a different story.
It's one thing knowing about imperfection, he can simply push it to the back of his mind and forget about it...but feeling it against your skin....that's completely another.
I know he loves me for me, and will accept my body, but that doesn't mean I feel comfortable showing him....I don't even feel comfortable showing me.
I know in time I will lose my virginity for him, and it's so exciting, to know that the burning passion inside me will finally be fulfilled.
But how can I enjoy it when all I will think about is what he thinks of my body? It's ugly, it's imperfect, it's wrong...it's not good enough to be kissed, to be caressed or to be loved, it's fat.
Of course, I still want him.
But how can I make love with my clothes on?
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